Bad Idea
by Bunney
Summary: This was a reply to a challenge called "Woke up in Vegas". I decided that Buffy and Jack's team would be funny to play with, but with only 3 people from Buffy and 4 from Stargate who runs with who : . After season 7 in Buffy and after Anubis for SG-1


Chapter 1

(Powers that Be cloud or whatever)

There was only darkness, nothing moved. A disembodied voice echoed unnaturally loud around the darkness.

"The warriors need to be together to beat this evil," the uncanny voice seemed to permeate the realm with its unnatural voice.

Another voice, equally as eerie as the last, said, "Neither set of warriors would trust each other enough to work together," There was a general atmosphere of agreement now surrounding them; everything remained dark.

"We need better insight into both sides, bring in the guardians for both sides and maybe they can help us figure out a path to unite them together; send the protector to retrieve them."

Moments later an armor-clad Skip grudgingly retrieved his orders and set out to find the souls that protect the chosen warriors; he rolled his eyes and muttered, "God forbid the PTB should ever do their own work…lazy-" he sighed and started walking.

Out of necessity and curiosity he looked at the list; he gulped, "Man, I should have taken a sick day."

He thought for a minute and then came to the conclusion that he should pay a visit to Colorado Springs first, "'cause nothing's worse than California, with its seers and half demons and witches, yeesh. I probably WILL need a sick day after I've dealt with them."

Three hours later the demon was stomping up to the woman he had been asked to procure, "I hate ghost road travel!" he complained loudly. "I always get newbies stuck on the bottom of my shoes. I'd rather have jet lag and sit next to old ladies and annoying human children," Skip glared around and continued grumbling under his breath. He had made it to Colorado...finally...you'd think that working with the dead would have better travel benefits, but sometimes it would be easier on the freeway. Spotting his mark in the ether surrounding what looked like a military base he approached, slowly.

"Janet Frasier, your presence is requested by the higher ups. Will you please come with me?" he asked.

Looking up, her wide brown eyes widened further and Janet screamed, "Who...what the hell are you?" she leaped up from where she was looking down from and clenched her fists defensively.

"My name's Skip, I'm a protector...messenger...whatever else the bosses can come up with for me to do," he shrugged and held up his hands in a 'surrendering' gesture; he smiled charmingly. "I'm here to get you to stop dilly dallying around, let's go. I have two others to get besides you," he remarked. He frowned in frustration and he thought to himself, Don't they ever teach the newbies how things work up here? It would save a hell of a lot of time. Maybe I should mention ghost mentoring or something. Probably more fun that this!

"I can't leave!" she protested in near panic. "They need me a lot right now, something big is coming and I need to help."

"You will be, but not in that way. The higher ups know what is coming and we need your help plus the other two to come up with some sort of plan to stop it."

Seeing that she didn't look convinced, he explained further, "Look, I know you have no idea what's going on but remember, they ask you to come for a reason. Besides how are you helping your friends by watching? This could actually benefit them in some way."

Looking down at her former friends and then back up at the scary-looking thing in front of her she knew that she had no choice if she wanted to help her friends. "Alright, where are we going to get the others?" Janet asked resolved; the same steely determination in her eyes was similar to when Cassie had been dying from the experiments that Nirtti had inflicted on her.

"Los Angeles. Well, for now anyway. Hey, so here's the rules...don't stray from the path, stay behind me and don't stop," he said firmly. "The ghost roads are tricky, if you don't concentrate on your destination you get trapped…permanently if you forget that," Skip explained as he opened the passage to the roads for the next leg of his journey. "At least it will only take five minutes from here."

He sighed and led the way; the doctor followed,

Five minutes later they had flew across the planes leading them to the ghostly LA crew; the scenery below them all had changed. They could see the tops of tall towers and thousands of people far below them just waking around.

Skip and Janet jogged up to a couple of young woman, both were blondes but the stockier woman in the blue cotton shirt had a dirty-blonde shade of hair colour. They were both looking intently at the world below them.

"Ladies! How's the Hellmouths' favorite team doing? Rounding up kiddies nicely, I hope? I need a minute of your time...still have to save the world and all that," Skip said sarcastically to the two female spirits watching the warrior's hotel.

Squinting, Anya looked at the demon talking to them, "I know you, you're the PTB's lackey." She smirked. "Man, how we used to laugh at you, always running around fetching things like a puppy...hey are you fetching us this time?"

Anya turned to her friend, "Wow, hey Tara, Fido is here to take us to the big guys, must be big."

The demon scowled slightly and glared at the woman.

"Anya, I'm sure this...man doesn't appreciate being called a holy version of Lassie, now play nice with the messenger," the blonde witch reprimanded gently. "What do you need us for? We're dead, I don't really see how a couple of angels like us are needed," said Tara trying to hide her smile from the obviously annoyed messenger.

"Look witch, I'm just here to pick you and demon cast-out over there up for a meeting," he continued scowling. "It's not like I was filled in on the damn thing. So would you both please just shut up and follow me and the doctor that's hiding behind me to the meeting so I can go home to things that I can actually stand." Skip groused turning to open the doorway to the Powers; the doorway shimmered slightly.

"Alright, here's the doorway, just walk through it and it will take you straight there. Had to take the long way to find you but it takes only seconds to get back...I swear they only do this to make my life hell." he rolled his eyes upwards in exasperation.

"Fine, Fido. I'm going," stated Anya, she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder as she stomped through the door.

"I'd already said that I'd go so I might as well follow that other lady. Guess I'll actually meet you inside," said the Doctor hesitating near the gleaming doorway; she stepped inside slowly and vanished.

"You're last, witch, get on with it, I don't have all day," griped Skip impatiently. He tapped his foot on the nonexistent floor.

Tara just looked at him and shook her head slightly, "I'm going...this time. I don't know what's off about you, but this time your purpose is true," with that she stepped into the threshold and didn't look back.

**Moving on (Buffy POV)**

*************Moving On****************

(Buffy's POV)

Buffy groaned at the pain in her head, whimpering she kept her face pressed into the softness of the pillow; she wished it wasn't warm- she could go for a cool pillow. She didn't move; the queasiness churned her stomach uncomfortably.

Her head throbbed painfully, she lifted her arm from under the covers and placed her hand carefully on her head in an effort to stop the marching band from walking around in her skull, "Ooh lordy," she mumbled into the pillow.

Slowly and painstakingly, she rolled first onto her side and then carefully lowered herself onto her back; she opened her eyes and then squinted against the added pain of the sunlight that was glaring into her corneas, "Stupid sun."

"What in the hell?! I knew Xander's suggestion as Vegas as an in-between world save-age vacation was a bad idea." She grumbled to herself. "Nothing good comes from a drunk-Buffy," she carefully and slowly sat up in the bed before grabbing her head; "My head's all poundy . . . my whole body is poundy . . . what did I slay last night that made me this sore?" she murmured.

The blonde finally brought her eyes from the ceiling and turned her head to the side, she almost screamed as someone who was not Xander or Willow rolled out of the bed next to her. He was naked, wait, she was naked, too! Groaning, she wrapped the sheet around her and looked at the man, "Or maybe it wasn't something I slayed. Look, I have no idea who or how evil you are, but shagging a Slayer against her will is not very smart." After this was said she gritted her teeth in pain and rubbed her temples.

The man looked affronted, "Against whose will, honey?" then he scowled at her. "If this is some kinda of NID set up you are going to be sorry!"

Buffy snorted dismissively, and then winced as her head throbbed again. The man glared at her as she sat on the bed, "Besides, like an air force Colonel would ever be afraid of a little girl. Anyway, I'm not the only one naked in this room; if we did anything, it was completely consensual," replied the naked man, he was holding some of the sheet up to cover him up to his waist.

"And what the in the hell is a Slayer; some kind of rock band groupie or something?" he raised his eyebrows mockingly at her.

She growled angrily, "Watch your mouth, Grandpa, or I'll show you what a Slayer is!" He was just lucky that she hadn't already floored him just for being in her room.

She scowled as the man gave her an exasperated look, "Who are you and what are you doing in my room? For that matter, why are we naked? Because you are totally old enough to be my dad . . . or worse, even Giles!" Buffy stated with a disgusted shiver.

Figures, 'course she'd end up with an older guy…the only difference with the other two were that they were vampires and still looked like they were in their twenties.

With a relenting sigh, he spoke, "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, as for the room and the naked . . . your guess is as good as mine," he grimaced slightly. "Last thing I remember was getting drunk and playing pool with my friends. Then waking up to you and thinking I had a mid-life crisis."

He scrubbed his face with a free hand, the other one clutching the sheet to him, and had a pained look on his face; he looked kinda like she felt.

Yup, things were definitely Hellmouthy, even if the hellmouth was destroyed. As the man sat back on the bed next to her, she stuck out her hand. "I'm Buffy, the last thing I remember was downing tequila shots with my two best friends in the bar, then you," she smirked to herself. "Guess that puts us in the same boat."

Then, she frowned in confusion as she looked at Jack's hand, "Wait, why do you have a suspicious-looking symbol on your left middle finger and a ring next to it?"

She looked at her own hand and looked faintly horrified, "Wait, better question, why do I have them?" Her hazel eyes widened in suspicion. "Did you say 'Air Force colonel'?"

The question went unanswered, frowning she looked at him properly to see him staring at something behind her; he looked rather pale. "What the hell are you staring at?" Buffy demanded as she looked over her shoulder.

She gulped as she caught sight of a suspicious-looking sheet of paper; silently they both just sat and stared at the marriage certificate in shock until she spoke up, "Guess I'm not Buffy Summers anymore..."

Jack blinked, and nodded dumbly.

**Moving on (xander POV)**

(Xander's POV)

Xander Harris awoke to the feeling of a warm, soft hand on his shoulder; he grimaced and buried his head in the pillow; god his head felt like a truck was parked on it. The hand was shaking his shoulder gently but insistently; "Go 'way" he mumbled into the soft fabric.

When the nudging became more insistent he sighed, "Anya, leave me alone, we've had sex almost all night. Mere mortals like myself need rest, and lots of fluids before doing it again." It came out as more of a groggy mumble than anything; the shaking ceased immediately.

"I have no idea who Anya is, but now would definitely be a good time for you to wake up. I think we might need to talk being as I have no idea who you are and it seems that we had sex together. We also got matching tattoos and rings, and are still naked and in the same bed together." The voice babbled wearily.

Sweet merciful Zeus! Almost jumping from the bed in shock at the unfamiliar voice he remembered quickly to be cautious, due to his newly distorted perception. God missing an eye REALLY sucked! He rubbed his left temple hard to rid himself of the rather painful headache, "Ah…" Taking a deep breathe he look over at the woman next to him.

She was older than he was, but still very attractive, she had short blonde hair and stunning blue eyes; the eyes are what proved to him he was safe. They had that super-genius look in them like Willow. Everything you wanted to know was there if you knew what to look for and right now they wanted answers, answers he didn't have, "Okay well let's start at the beginning, I'm Alexander Harris, but only evil things call me anything but Xander. I was recently blinded, by a freak accident with a thumb. I am supposed to be on a vacation before I move to my new place of residence being as my home town is now a big crater."

He saw the blonde's eyes widen, saw the flash of recognition; she'd obviously been watching the news fairly recently, "What about you?"

The blonde clutched the sheet to herself, blushing slightly and replied, "Sam Carter; I'm an air force officer…and I'm in so much trouble." She ran a hand through her hair warily making it stand upright on her head; she obviously had a headache that was as bitching as his own. He grimaced in sympathy as she looking anxious.

Then he caught sight of the ring on his finger followed by the symbol which was right next to it; he frowned; "Well, whadda you know; I got tattooed…Willow would be so proud." Speaking of…where were his buddies? Gotta be around the hotel somewhere.

Sam gave him a confused look, "Huh?"

Shaking his head, which proved to be a mistake, he showed her his hand; she peered at it and then looked down at her own, "Holy Hannah," she muttered under her breath.

"As for the rings and tattoo, well let's just call them a Vegas memory and just so's you know, I have no idea how we ended up here in this bed...naked or otherwise. Guess that's it for me, I'll just be putting my pants on and going to find my friends," Xander yammered as he put on his clothes that littered the hotel room.

As he jumped around on one leg trying to put his other leg through the right pieces of his pants he noticed that his bed-partner had started to collect her own garments while keeping the bed-sheet wrapped around her body; he brought his eyes away from her guiltily as he finally managed to pulled on his pant; he knelt down and started tying his shoelaces; then he noticed a piece of paper protruding out of the bottom of the bed. Picking it up and reading it he closed his eye; his stomach sinking as dread settled into the pit of his queasy stomach, he stood up and said helplessly, "Oh god! You ever wish alcohol was never invented?"

Now dressed in navy-blue jeans and a light blue shirt, Sam walked up to him, "What's wrong, Xander? I mean it's not like we got married," Even as she said that Sam knew that she'd just jinxed them both; she saw Xander with his head down and his hand out with a piece of paper dangling from it.

"We are, aren't we," she uttered in shock. Only a member of SG1! Figures, she'd get herself into this mess' what the hell was the colonel gonna think!

"Yup," Xander clarified, he ran a hand through his messy hair absentmindedly

"Actually, I was thinking that I should have never come to Vegas," Sam rubbed her eyes warily. "No offence." She walked to the cabinet opposite to the bed and bent down to grab her bag, she then looked at Xander.

"None taken," he said shrugging. He adjusted his eye-patch slightly and sighed. "Might as well face the music, let's go find our friends or an annulment, which ever comes first." They walked to the door together as he cringed in pain. "Or maybe an aspirin." He opened the door and gestured jokingly as he tried to ignore the splitting headache, "After you Mrs. Harris." God! He'd never thought he'd ever say that to a stranger.

Smiling dubiously, Sam inclined her head in a Teal'c-like fashion and quipped back, "Well thank you, Mr. Harris."

At least they could pretend that things wouldn't be changing so soon.

**Moving On (Willow POV)**

(Willow POV)

Willow opened her eyes to find herself looking into the red glow of a digital clock; it read 8:23am. She groaned and moved herself from her side to her back; where does the day go?

After that thought she became acutely aware of her bladder; sighing in resignation she rubbed her eyes, she really needed to pee. Sleepily, she rolled to her right and smacked into a solid body; she looked at the body and saw a large black man in the bed next to her. Screaming, she rolled the other way which resulted in bumping against another man's body; this time a beautiful white man. Not even caring that they were all naked and now due to her screaming they were both very awake, she bolted to the bathroom giving the startled men a very good view before slamming the door.

Both the men in the bed looked at each other, then at the door; then the white one spoke up in faint bewilderment, "So, any clue why we are naked in bed with the same girl, Teal'c?" he looked around, squinting and then found his glasses on the small table next to his side of the bed; he grabbed them and put them on.

"No, Daniel Jackson, I do not," he intoned. "Do you also not remember how we got to this place?"

Daniel looked at the digital clock and said, "Well, Teal'c, what should we do about this situation? Not to mention the girl that's involved? I mean, I'm sure this is the first time I've woken up naked with another man before, but I'm also not sure if I'm angry about the situation," he dragged some more sheet up to himself. "What about you Teal'c? Do you have anything to say about what happened last night? I know out of all of us you would be the one to remember what happened last night." commented Daniel sheepishly.

The Jaffa blinked solemnly as he looked at his friend, "I do not know all that has happened, Daniel Jackson. I do remember the three of us making a life bond in front of a fake alien that gave us papers. Maybe that would help explain something for you, Jaffa have been known to take a wife and a male mate in order to have someone to share the home with; the other male usually wasn't a warrior, but worked as servants in the great houses. I never found one I liked in Chulak so I never had a male mate. You are not an unacceptable choice, Daniel Jackson. I also would not have chosen to mate with the girl in the bathroom if she was not also..."

Both Teal'c and Daniel turned towards the bathroom door as they heard it squeak open, Willow came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and gathered up her clothes; her face was pink with embarrassment.

"Ok, look. I don't know why the three of us are naked in a bed together, but... I'm gay," then she considered this for a moment. "At least, I thought I was. I mean, I was in love with Tara, and then there was Kennedy... but the point is... I'm not into men anymore." She gestured madly with her hands as she said this.

Daniel and Teal'c both sat up straighter and looked at the redheaded woman, she started squirming under their gaze, her face flushed into a red colour. Who wouldn't be feeling awkward in this situation? A gay women waking up naked with two men she doesn't know. Kinda strange.

"Ok, first things first, I'm Daniel Jackson." Daniel said, raising a hand to his chest. He pushed his glasses further up his nose as they slipped slightly.

Teal'c inclined his head a little as he introduced himself, "And I am... Murray."

Willow nodded, face still pink, "I'm Willow Rosenberg, okay, now that the introductions are done why are the three of us naked and in the same bed? Oh... and why is it I'm not getting anything, ya know, of this Earth from you, Murray?"

Daniel's blue eyes widened, eyebrows both raised and quickly looked over his shoulder at Teal'c, then back at Willow, "What do you mean, 'of this Earth?' What, are you sayin' that Murray is an alien?" She couldn't be saying that? Right?

Willow smiled slightly and stood up a little straighter as if she was about to announce that she was a prominent diplomat or political figure, "I'm a witch," then she frowned. "Well... maybe more than a witch, but that's still under debate... for now. Anyway, being what I am, I have a connection with everything of this Earth, and there is no connection between Murray and myself."

She caught sight of something on Teal'c's forehead, "What is that gold thing on your forehead, some weird piercing?"

Teal'c raised one eyebrow and tilted his head slightly, looking at Daniel Jackson and then Willow; then remarked, "You are very astute, Willow Rosenberg."

No, really? Willow raised her cinnamon eyebrows in a slightly sarcastic fashion as she inwardly agreed with him. Smiling slightly, she scanned the room as if looking for something.

Daniel looked at Teal'c in great consideration and asked, "Are you sure it's safe to tell her?" 'cause ya know, the last thing they wanted was for the SGC to be forced into public scrutiny.

"I foresee no reason why we should not tell her, as she is now your wife and my life-partner," the Jaffa deadpanned.

The room was suddenly filled with the chorus of a shocked Willow and Daniel as they both yelled, "WHAT?!?!"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the pair.

Willow flapped her hands looking remarkably like a chicken caught without its head on, "Life-partner?!"

"Wife?!" Daniel looked at Teal'c in horror, mouth open slightly; eyes wide behind his glasses.

Teal'c nodded and reached over to the nightstand to grab to pieces of paper before handing it to Daniel; his eyebrows rose a little as he snatched the paper from his hand and promptly started to read it; he had a rather harried look on his face.

Willow hurried over and looked over Daniel's shoulder to read the papers, she then stepped backing disbelief. Her new husband slowly set the papers down and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I'm married?" Willow said dismally. "I can't be married to either of you, I'm gay; I like women, I don't like men anymore; and you're not of this Earth, so I'm not exactly into aliens either."

Teal'c calmly stood up revealing a little too much of himself, he failed to notice that the two other occupants in the room had gone red in the face; he pulled his clothes on. Then he turned around to see that Willow was bright red, looking up at the ceiling with an embarrassed smile on her face and that Daniel had his eyes clenched shut and was fiddling with his glasses.

The Jaffa dismissed it and said, "It would seem, Willow Rosenberg, that part of you still likes men." She looked at him and gave him a dubious look. "Or you would not have wed Daniel Jackson and make a life-commitment with me."

In a state of shock, both Daniel and Willow got dressed, not really looking at each other; the archaeologist of the three then noticed the markings on the middle finger of his left hand... and a wedding band; he turned to face Willow, eyes averted just incase she wasn't dressed yet. But he found that she was; he looked at her and said, "Guess this means you're Mrs. Willow Jackson." Figures, of course he'd get married only after five minutes of meeting a girl; Jack was never gonna let him live that down. After groaning under his breath, he continued, "Not sure what this marking is on my finger though."

Teal'c and Willow both look down at their hands simultaneously and inspected their fingers intently; the Jaffa looked back up at Daniel and said, "I do not know what this symbol is, Daniel Jackson." He turned to the redhead beside him. "Do you know, Willow Jackson?"

Willow ran a finger over the markings gently, then snapped her head looking slightly freaked, "What? Don't call me that, my name is Willow Rosenberg, not Willow Jackson."

Teal'c bowed his head, "My apologies, Willow Rosenberg."

Willow shook her head slightly and looked back at the marking on her finger, curiously, "I feel like I know it, but I can't recall what it means, maybe if I can talk to my friends: Xander and Buffy, we can do some research and something will click; then I can tell you what it means."

Teal'c nodded and Daniel stood up, both agreeing and ready to go figure all this out.

"Very well, Willow Rosenberg. We shall go with you in search of Xander and Buffy. But first, my name is not Murray, I am Teal'c; Murray is what I am called when I am not among friends, but since we are life-partners, it is alright that I tell you."

Willow nodded slowly and smiled some, at least she got involved with nice people- could have hooked up with worse, "Alrighty, Teal'c, let's go find my friends and figure this out." She grabbed her purse from the floor near the dresser and saw that Daniel had gone to the door.

She walked forwards as he opened it and held it open for her and her 'life-partner'; she walked through followed by Teal'c and then her husband. The door closed behind them, Daniel looked at her and said, "We also need to find Sam and Jack... something tells me they might want to hear about this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Hotel Lobby)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Jack sat at the bar in the hotel lobby, facing the room; the colonel sipped his drink and the blonde Slayer knocked back some soda. Jack placed his drink down on the counter and faced his bed-partner, "So, Buffy, what brings you here to Vegas? Well... other than to marry me and then try to talk your way out of it."

Buffy laughed slightly and took a swig of her drink, "My friends and I were on our way to Cleveland and stopped in Vegas for a bit of a vacation." And what a swell vacation that turned out to be!

Jack nodded "Ah, I see. I'm on vacation as well, well... my team is here too." He scanned the room quickly. "Somewhere."

Just then, Xander and Sam walked through the door; the young man was poking at his left temple and looking pained. The blonde paused to look around the lobby in search of someone. Jack's head perked up as he saw the woman and waved them over. Sam returned the wave, then took Xander by the hand and said something to him that made him look towards Buffy and Jack.

At seeing Buffy, Xander started to head over to her, his companion right behind him; he bounded over to them, still managing to look energetic even as he nursed a throbbing head. As they reached the counter three more people enter the lobby looking equally hung-over…well, the two smaller people did. The large man looked fine.

Buffy smiled and waved, "Willow!" she ignored Xander's cringe as her yell assaulted his ears.

Willow just looked blankly at her, still shocked over the marriage; the brown-haired man beside her looked equally stunned. Teal'c of course was just being Teal'c much to the amusement of Jack. They reached each other and for a moment there was a stunned silence; then everyone started talking at once. Six voices going on at once, not a one waiting for the others, all trying to tell their story; after a few seconds, Jack started to raise his voice.

"Hey. Hey! HEY! Quiet, all of you!" Everyone obeyed the authoritarian tone of voice then quieted down, there were a few apologies thrown out by five very sheepish-looking people, but the talking had stopped. "Ok, so apparently, we all have somethin' to say," said Jack sarcastically. "Sam, Daniel, Murray?"

Buffy looked over at Willow and Xander quickly looking for an answer, then, everyone spoke up all at once; A chorus of six voices all speaking at the same time.

"We're married!"

Teal'c, who stood in the group quietly, just raised an eyebrow.

*We need a plan…is there a plan? *

As the last echoes of the proclamation died away the two groups were left looking at each other with confusion and shock, "What?" they all yelled in unison.

Needless to say, the hotel staff were very bemused as they observed the group.

Taking charge, Jack and Buffy looked each other, the blonde spoke first, "I'll take mine if you'll take yours; then we'll swap, that cool?"

Jack nodded and then turned to everyone else, "We have a plan people! Carter, T…Murray, Daniel with me; Will go back to my room… um our room," he gestured to the others. "You three back to one of the others."

"Hey, you aren't the boss of me," snapped Buffy, glaring defiantly at him.

"True, but technically I am your husband which, by law, makes me the partial boss of you," he smirked at her mockingly. "So, it's really about perspective."

Daniel raised is eyebrows in surprised, then he snickered, "Hey Jack, it seems that 'word of the day' calendar I got you is working out. I didn't realize you knew what 'perspective' meant," Daniel's eyes danced with laughter; Buffy gave him a look that clearly said that she had been about to comment along the same lines as him.

Buffy pouted and then looked at her redheaded friend, "I like your man, Willow. Why do I always get the older man, I mean really? Next weird mystical bond I want Orlando Bloom tied to my bed!"

The blonde felt confused as Willow blushed furiously; she watched the redhead tuck a strand of red hair behind her ear and then shift from foot to foot in embarrassment.

"Well…um…Buffy…technically I got two men...not one…" Willow stuttered looking at her feet; face red.

Buffy's eyes were wide with surprise, threatening to push her eyebrows into her hairline, as she gaped at the young woman.

Jack looked at Daniel with a shocked expression on his face.

Spluttering, Xander exclaimed, "Wait, two!? Do they both realize that you're gay?"

Willow glared at him, still red-faced and uncomfortably aware of the volume in which Xander had used to say that; the hotel staff were still glancing at them from time to time in curiousity.

"How does that work?" pressed Xander doubtfully. "Because I never saw you as into the whole swinger life…except in those fantasies…which I'm not mentioning…or up…because they never happened…okay, shutting up now." His yammering abated as the 'scary-as-hell' guy with the tattoo glared at him; looked as though he'd like nothing better than to grab that cocktail stick in his drink and shove it up one of Xander's nostrils.

Buffy stepping in before Xander got this butt kicked by the big black guy, "So, I agree with the hubby, let's go back to our respective corners then compare notes. If I were you, I'd call your boss and see if you all still have jobs after they find out who your spouses are."

The members of SG1, minus Teal'c, gave her perplexed looks; she ignored the looks and continued. "I'd warn them that the threat still stands."

With that said, she started to turn back in the direction of one of the rooms; she turned back and said, "We will be in Will's room getting into our own trouble, so, two hours recuperating and then we meet in Xander's room. Kind of like a meet in neutral territory and stuff."

Willow looked at the Slayer in wide-eyed confusion, "Wow, Buffy, did you actually learn something from that 'Art of War' book Giles kept trying to get you to read?" she tugged a little on the hem of her dark-blue shirt.

Blushing, Buffy mumbled, "Well no…it was on 'Fosters home for Imaginary Friends'…I like cheese."

"Yes!" yelled Jack as he punched his fist into the air. This made the ever-attentive hotel staff jump in surprise. "Told you other people liked that show besides me, Daniel, but nooooooo….it's juvenile!" the mocking tone in Jack's voice made the archaeologist blush.

Cleaning his glasses in frustration, he said, "So, let's get this process started, no matter how juvenile the context; agreed?"

Nodding together, they all agreed and then started to leave, but then they hesitated in front of their respective others, Willow spoke first, "So, are we ignoring this particular elephant?"

Teal'c raised one of his eyebrows," I think that a hug would be appropriate until we have the sufficient information, Willow Rosenberg."

They all hugged awkwardly, except Willow and Teal'c who both felt a sudden moment of peace; looking into his eyes the redhead queried," So… later?"

"Indeed," intoned Teal'c, a ghost of a grin lit up his face as they ambled in the direction of their friends.

(Yet Another PTB Cloud)

Janet looked down as the group disbanded; her two new friends were right beside her as they observed their comrades, "Wow, for a plan, Anya, I can't believe that actually worked," stated the doctor in surprise.

She glanced at her as Anya smirked proudly and said, "I told you it would, I mean, please, it takes humans FOR-EV-ER to give up on marriage. I mean other than Brittany's first marriage most people assume they must have really connected to get married in the first place. Besides, how else did you expect Xander to get to the altar?" she snorted.

"And, really, I am way more attractive and bendy than her and look what he did to me." Anya explained wistfully.

Janet frowned, "Hey! Sam is a great person and I have no idea on her 'bendy-ness', but she doesn't deserve to be stuck for life with a guy that won't be capable of committing to her," concern for her friend was etched on her features.

The ex-demon glared defiantly, "You should be grateful! Because of me she will have lots and lots of orgasms. Besides Xander might be a butt about marriage, but he would never hurt anyone intentionally. Well unless he tries that thing in the chair…" Anya sighed in recollection.

An uncomfortable silence followed this.

Tara sighed from her place next to Anya, "An, there are still things that I don't want to know, even when I'm dead," she looked at Anya pointedly who huffed.

Janet nodded as she inwardly agreed," So, Tara, why pick two men for your girlfriend if she's gay? I mean what if she can't accept them? What then?"

Anya raised her eyebrows in interest and also looked at Tara with curiosity.

The blonde witch looked down thoughtfully; then she looked back up at the doctor, "Willow doesn't care what sex you are, she falls in love with the person inside the body. As for Daniel and Teal'c, they will be what she needs to be able to get through this new challenge," she frowned slightly.

"She will be able to talk to Daniel and he will be able to talk to her, Teal'c will be able to protect both of them while having the stable relationship that he needs," she concluded, smiling. Then, she looked at the doctor curiously. "So, why put Jack and Buffy together?"

Janet inclined her head slightly in consideration, "Don't you think he needs someone as strong as he is?" she asked finally.

Anya and Tara both looked at each other and answered in unison, "Yes."

They went back to observing their living friends as they awaited whatever the PTB had planned for them.

*What a nervous break down sounds like…*

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his room, his hands in his pockets as he looked at his team, "So, 'rock, paper, scissors' on who calls Hammond?" He asked hopefully.

Sam smiled in amusement, but said, "Sir, as the Senior Officer you have the privilege of explaining what happened." Then she smirked, "I use the term 'privilege' loosely, sir."

Daniel cleaned his glasses and then replaced them quickly, "Besides, this was your idea, we wanted to stay home, but you thought the proposal of Vegas was better. I believe your idea was that before Anubis got here we all needed a lap dance."

"Fine, but next time you die I'm not sharing my Jell-O with you," Jack interrupted as he picked up the phone to dial the security number to the base.

After several moments of clearance confirmation Hammond picked up the phone and said warily, "So Jack, whom did you marry? Or how much bad money you need?"

Jack cringed, damn, the guy already knew what to expect; then again how could he not? "Well sir, the upside is we don't need bail, but a divorce lawyer wouldn't go amiss…" wheedled Jack, while bracing for the reaction.

A soft thumping could be heard on the other side of the phone, the sound of head-meeting-desk, before he spoke, "Jack! Do you do these things just to torture me!?

The colonel winced guiltily, "Hey it wasn't just me, Carter, Teal'c and Daniel all got married too. Hell, Teal'c and Daniel are shaking the same girl so I was the good one this time."

"What? Wait, why are you taking this so well and not demanding for pick up; then to throw them in the brig 'till all of this is sorted out?"

Jack sighed, "Well general, it seems both sides might have been set up and frankly they seem reliable. Not that I don't plan on having you run them, but all of us agreed that they have as much to lose by running."

"So what are their names? I'll get started," Hammond said warily.

"Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg and Alexander Harris, residence of Sunnydale, California," Jack replied, he waited for the inevitable explosion,

He wasn't let down, "Shit! Jack, do you know what you have married! No wait never mind, did any of them give you a message to pass on to your superiors?" Hammond asked with an edge of panic tingeing his tone of voice.

The colonel blinked, "Well…yeah, makes no sense, she's being just a kid, but she said the threat still stands. Whatever that means." He trailed of worriedly as he heard another round of head-meeting-desk; he shoved his free hand into one of his pockets.

"Double shit!" thumping continued over the line.

Jack pulled the receiver away from his ear and turned to his team with a guilty expression on his face, "Uh…I think I've finally given the general a nervous breakdown."

*Bloody Hell, tell me there is no spawn! *

Willow was deemed the less likely to get yelled at and the Slayerettes that frequently got into trouble had nominated her to be the one that should call Giles and report this most wonderful news.

The redhead ambled closer to the phone before turning back to her friends, "Tell me again why I got nominated?" She ignored Buffy's sigh and continued. "I'm not the leader here, Buffy. That is you!" She didn't care that this was the third time she had brought that up; she was shoved towards the phone.

"Oh, no Will's, the plaque might be buried under tons of Hellmouth chunks and covered in demon goo, but still says the YOU are the official boss of Us!" she smirked triumphantly as she gestured around at everyone.

"There for you get the honor of telling our father figure that we all got married and that he wasn't there to see it. All of which isn't in the least our fault as we are angels who never do anything wrong," Buffy rambled; then she looked sharply at her friend. "Ever," she dialed Giles's number; which would connect both their lines from the other side of the globe. She handed a head-shaking Willow the phone.

Xander grinned and clapped her on the shoulder, "Yeah, Will, besides he won't yell too much at you. You're his favorite, unless it is black-hair you, then not so much!"

The redhead gave him a reprimanding look, "I'm just stating right now, you are lucky I'm mostly white-witch now or you would all, in fact, be rats!" she stopped berating them and listened as the phone rung.

The sound of the other phone being picked up made her focus her complete attention on the other end, a familiar voice talked into her ear, "Hello, Slayer Inc. How can I help you?"

Uneasily, she said, "Ummm, Hi Dawn! It's Willow…ummm, is Giles…available?" Willow blushed trying to sound normal. She heard a sharp intake of breath over the line.

"What did Buffy and Xander do, Willow? Dawn demanded over the phone.

Willow's eyes widened in alarm, "What makes you think anything is wrong? We could be fine, I just asked to talk to Giles; it isn't like I have to have a reason!" she rolled her eyes at herself, well done, Will; that's really gonna convince her!

"Right, hold on Willow," she didn't sound even slightly convinced. "GILES?!" she bellowed in the background. "Buffy and Xander got in trouble and they are making Willow call!!!"

"Tattler!" Buffy gasped as she heard her sister's yell over the phone.

Giles hurriedly picked up the phone, "Dear God, Please tell me that no one is spawning or being abducted by aliens?!?!" the dread in his voice was easily heard.

Willow heard Buffy mutter, "He's not far off with the 'alien' thing."

Xander chuckled, "Trust G-Man to know everything."

Oh, no! She only MARRIED one! With a sigh, Willow asked, "Does marrying one count?"

*Switch!*

Xander tapped his foot a few times on the frame of the sofa, he wasn't quit sure of what to do with himself. He jumped slightly as a knock at the door jerked him from his thoughts; he looked over at his blonde friend and said, "I guess it's time to switch sides for a bit, Buffy." He was SO doing Buffy a favor.

"You might as well come with me and let Willow do all the talking," He suggested confidently. "Plus, I think between our little redhead and I we'll get the studying done. Besides, you really wanna tell Giles that you married a man older than him?"

He sure as hell wouldn't…'course, he wouldn't have married an older MAN…his thoughts were interrupted when Buffy him a slap to the back of his head as she passed him.

As she grabbed the doorknob, opened it; she turned around and had a devious smile on her face; she took a deep breath and said, "Well hello, WILLOW'S TWO MEN!" She said it loud enough to be heard over the phone line.

She waited for a second and grinned triumphantly as Giles's screech was heard by all in the room; followed by Willow's rapid explanation.

Still grinning, she turned to their guests, "So boys, you might as well come in an have a seat." She waved them into the room. "Willow's still getting in trouble; ya know being the most observant of us she got nominated to explain the details."

Daniel frowned with concern, "Is she in a lot of trouble…do I…uh… do we need to talk to…Giles and let him know that she didn't plan this? That we don't even know what happened?" He stared worriedly at his new wife.

Teal'c blinked, "Indeed, if her father needs assurance that we mean her no harm then let us go to her." With that said the Jaffa had already made up his mind.

Buffy grabbed Xander even before he had had a chance to say anything; she dragged him out the door before he could put his foot in it, she turned back to look at the two men, "Do whatever you need to do to help us figure all this out and get us back to Cleveland." She waved her hand in Willow's direction, "Giles isn't really mad at her, just frustrated, she's supposed to be the good one." She snickered as the door closed behind her.

Teal'c walked across the room and put his hands on Life-partner's shoulders and began to massage the stress that had obviously been building up while she was talking on the phone; she just looked up and smiled at him gratefully and started lightly rubbing his calf with her free hand.

"Well, Giles, I know the symbols are somewhere between the taco demons, Sanskrit and Sumerian," she rattled off. "But I am not fluent in grunts, gestures and chicken scratches; I could narrow it down if I had actual type-able information but as that isn't really an option…" she then trailed off pointedly.

"Why isn't Dawn able to just figure it out with her freakish language ability? I mean really she can actually speak all known languages and this one symbol is a complete mystery?!" Before Willow could continue Daniel had obviously felt the need to interrupt.

"Willow, no one can actually speak Sanskrit…it is a dead language no one has actually heard the language spoken so all we can do is guess. So don't be so hard on this Dawn person." Daniel tried to soothe.

With an evil grin Willow remarked, "Daniel, I am a very, very smart woman and I realize that we have only been married about one whole day, but I personally can speak over thirty different languages and while you might not realize this: there are things that have been alive since before Jesus got tied to the cross."

She tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear with her free hand, "While I agree that most people can't speak a language they've never heard; to those that have…," Willow shook her finger at him, "This should be easy! If you wanna be helpful you could search though these books and see if you can find this symbol on any of the pages." With a disgruntled wave of her hand a very large pile of scrolls and books magically landed on one of the made up beds.

Daniel's eyes widened in surprise, even though he was trying not to feel hurt at Willow's dismissal of him he couldn't get the image of the floating books out of his mind.

How had those books and…

His eyes widened in amazement.

Were those ancient scrolls?! How had they gotten there? Oh wait…she had said she was a witch, maybe believing her was now an option.

Shaking his head, Daniel walked over to the pile. When he looked at the books he started to hyperventilate, "Willow, some of these books are at least eight-hundred years old."

He flapped his hands around. "They should be in a museum or handled carefully, not tossed on the bed! Oh god, these scrolls…where did you get all these things?" he looked at her with horror. "Are we gonna go to jail for having them?!"

Willow looked up from the phone and seeing Daniel's face, she sighed and turned back to talking into the receiver, "Giles, if you get anything call me; I need to go calm down my husband." She rolled her eyes slightly. "He's acting like you that one time when Buffy was listening to Billy Idol in the library….yup, but I don't even have a slurppy."

She looked up at the ceiling blankly as she paused, "Okay, bye." She hung up, then she walked away from Teal'c as she neared Daniel and grabbed the scrolls out of his hands. She set them on the bed. "Daniel, breathe."

God, he was worse than her after a babbling show and that was saying something; "These books and scrolls are the newest copies we have of the originals; also the newest we have in our climate-controlled super library bunker. All of them have been magically-enhanced to take lots of abuse so that they can actually be used for research. I'm sorry, I bit off your head, sometimes evil willow leaks out when I'm frustrated."

After Willow's semi-babble Daniel started spluttering, "You have the originals!" then he looked shocked. "Wait, you speak how many languages?!"

"Uh," started the redhead.

The archaeologist's facial expression was a mix of hope and interest, "You wouldn't wanna job later would you?"

Willow raised her eyebrows incredulously, with the military- no thanks, last time one of us worked with the military Ms. Mad-Scientist tried to have her killed.

Most likely reading the expression on her face Daniel reconsidered this, "Wait, I guess not, what with the lack of working for the government." That obviously wasn't something that she would consider in a flippant sort of way.

He sighed, "Man, I find someone that knows as many languages as me and turns out it's my wife," Before he could continue ranting his wife shut him up with a kiss.

Just as Daniel had started putting his arms around her she pulled back, "Wow, Oz was right, it really does work at stopping a babble."

When she looked back towards Teal'c she noticed that he was sitting in the chair next to the bed; he just watched them with interest.

With a smirk he nodded at her to continue.

She smiled and turned back to her husband, "Are you calm yet, Daniel?"  
She removed his glasses and placed them down on the nightstand.

Daniel pulled her closer and replied, "No, I don't think so, I need to be a lot calmer." He pressed his lips to her soft ones a moment before Willow reciprocated.

Teal'c inclined his head slightly to the left as he observed them intently.

After several minutes of both, Daniel and Willow jerked apart and said at the same time, "Dammit!! I'm gay, would you quit being so yummy?!"

Smirking, Teal'c leans forward, "You two are both fascinating when aroused; FAMILY, I can almost se your minds still at work while giving and receiving pleasure. The wait to see if you can become one will be uncomfortable and pleasurable for me." He shifted awkwardly in the chair.

Not moving from Daniel's lap she wags her finger at Teal'c, "well, elf, your alien mojo playing with my magics isn't helping my hormones right now. It tickles all over and makes me want to do really naughty things to you…both. Things I only saw on accident at Xander's house. How was I supposed to know all the books on the coffee table were Demon Kama Sutra Books?"

Daniel leaned forward with a look from Teal'c and kissed Willow again. After a few minutes he pulled away again. "As interested as we both are in that story, I seriously doubt we are ready for that step. So a few questions, Taco Demons?, Elf?, and can you get us those books; we might want to study them for future reference." He smiled and Teal'c nodded in agreement, stating "Why do you call me Elf? I do not resemble a minion of Santa Claus or a yard decoration."

"Well have you ever read 'Lord of the Rings'? Well your whole stand there and look incredibly hot, but still being able to kick my butt thing is kinda their whole thing. Other than your race you could be a spot on description. That and while your name is beautiful, I think that using it in public would be an issue and I could never use Murray with a straight face. Besides Xander is going to call you Alien Boy incessantly." At the look on Teal'cs eyes, Willow says "But You can't hurt him to badly. Hurting the handicapped isn't nice, and all the gods know that they built Xander like the scarecrow. I'm his Dorothy, so it helps… I went off topic again." Willow babbled then stopped noticing their cloudy eyes. She then continued, "Taco Demons are our short hand for the breed of a certain species of demon. Think about them like bugs, they come in so many different varieties, that it's hard to keep them straight…so we renamed them all. Well not all of them, just the ones that are hard to pronounce."

Daniels eyes showed him trying to work out her explanation, but then he had a question, "Why Taco?"

Giggling, Willow replied, "They own the largest and most popular mexican food franchise in the country…Taco Bell."

At that answer Daniel smiled and began to laugh Teal'c smiled at their joy because he too liked their joy. After the laughter died down Willow gestured to Teal'c to join them in the bed, "So we need to talk about 'US'."

"Do you want and 'US' Willow?" asked Daniel while Teal'c watched.

"I think there is already an us, but I think we need to take this slowly so that we can understand our needs as a trifecta. I doubt this situation will be easy for any of us, but I have a feeling this is how we are meant to be. So we figure it out and deal with it as we go along, agreed?" Willow asked. They both agreed.

With a smirk Willow asked, "So, how about a nap to start on the comfort thing, and then we research and go from there?" With a look both men scooted closer and held her and each other close.


End file.
